There is no better way to start off this blog than with the most popular top 10 list of all time, Exodus 20:1-17 or better known as the 10 commandments. Just a reminder this list is infallible since was compiled by God and and published by Moses in partnership with Mount Siani Studios.
- You shall have no other gods before me.
-aka remain abstinent until you and God tie the knot.
- You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.
-Then God added "I'm looking at you Trump"
- You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
-Fun fact: God later extended the "not hold them guiltless" privileged to Jewish mothers.
- Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
-On the seventh day, man created football, and it was good.
- Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
-I'm pretty sure Moses just slipped this one in there to stop the backtalk from Gershom and Eliezer.
- You shall not murder.
-I guess O.J. wasn't much of sa reader.
- You shall not commit adultery.
-The "as long as your spouse is in a different area code its not cheating" amendment has yet to be confirmed by the pope.
- You shall not steal.
-a special exemption for baseball players was later added to Ricky Henderson's relief.
- You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
-So basically do not lie. Special exemptions are slated to be given to questions like "does this make my ass look big."
- You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”
-This basically says do not be jelous of what others have......but commandment #2 says he is a jealous God. Jesus Christ I am confused....oh S*&#......I just broke #3.
If you'd like to read more about this God fellow, check out his best selling book
The Bible
in stores now.
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